Bulls for BJP MPs, Partymen & RSS, Cows for BPL Families
Dear Sudheendra Kulkarni,
All the IITians, Brahmins, Farmers, Socialists anti American Think tanks are thrilled to learn your Super Computer brain coming up with this Idea of giving Cows to BPL families in UP, with I believe supply of 20kg of fodder everyday sourced from farmers at Rs.10 per kg MSP. Without supply of fodder BPL families would take it as an upper caste conspiracy to make them poorer and a scam.
Deendyal Upadhyay and Nanaji Deshmukh in heavens would be delighted to read this news on their heavenly Twitters be satisfied to find a person in you to carryon their Social Service.
This is really brilliant – this shall magically remove poverty in UP and India in seconds. Even 10 liters of milk per day average would be Rs.320 per day income to every BPL family and lift them Above Poverty Line.
This is even more brilliant considering your political rivals in view of extreme shortage of Elephants can't promise an Elephant to each BPL family had to install Stone Sculptures that are now covered on your complaints.
This is brilliant farmers were burning wheat and rice straw polluting the environment and your government on coming to power would buy it and sell it to BPL families. This shall triple the income of Indian Farmers. Your friend Narendra Modi may implement it immediately.
So shall reverse migration to cities – slum dwellers would go back to villages assure of healthy life in the company of holy cow.
BPL families are worried your government on coming to power would take away highly priced Cow Urine and Dung that is even more valuable at Rs.50 per liter and Rs.100 per kg required by Baba Ramdev and new generations of Ayurveds and for export markets. When BPL income shall be Rs.320 per day – Brahmins and BJP shall earn Rs.3000 per day from 20 liter of Cow Urine and 10 kg of Dung.
It is like promising a Nano to BPL and Mercedes for Brahmins and upper caste. So before other political parties promise Cows to BPL families with daily supply of fodder and guaranteed purchase Urine and Dung you may issue supplementary manifesto.
But there is discrimination against Bulls and gender activists are likely to move PIL to stop this gender discrimination.
So you should also promise Bulls to all BJP MPs and party-men and RSS.
Perhaps you have not tried Bull ride is real divine many gods preferred Bulls than horses because horses dung and urine is harmful cause Asthma, TB and Cancer, without any medicinal value and useless– had you tried Bulls for LK Advani in cross country Yatras BJP would have 800 million numbers in its Vote Bank.
Think of Mahatama Gandhi, he carried a Goat with him everywhere became father of India, had LK Advani kept a Bull or a Cow he could have been much more respected not required to praise father of a neighboring country. At least he could have become father of UP or Gujarat.
It shall be great if you and BJP ride a Bull to Parliament. There will be no security problem and little parking problem – if you wish you can take Bulls to your office also – Mercedes can't ride steps of Parliament or fit in a lift – a Bull can.
In the evening you will not be required to serve imported Whisky and Wines – Bull Urine is purer than cows.
South Indians worship Bulls unlike Cows in North India – so BJP may promise a Bull to every South Indian family.
Finally don't forget two things –
First is to register Bull as your Party Symbol – Kamal Ka Phool has not shined well in sewage – even our rivers now carry sewage. Had you realized this earlier you could have defeated INC every time.
Second to promise Income Tax exemption for all Cow and Bull products otherwise you will be required to measure and keep records of daily production of Urine and Dung and get it audited for IT return.
You deserve promotion in BJP for this brilliant idea next president of BJP and future PM.